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How deep does Observing go?

How deep does Observing go?
In Nonviolent Communication (NVC) there are four basic components.  The first is separating the observation from the evaluation.

Most of us believe that we can effectively report our observations.   Marshall Rosenberg wrote and taught about how we actually mix our observations and evaluations.  In my experience, the evaluations (meaning, judgments, etc.) arise so quickly that they can go unnoticed.  Then when the event is remembered, what happened (the observation) and all that it meant (evaluation) are seemingly just one memory.

When you ...

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Saying Yes and…

Saying Yes and…

There have been times in my life when I did not want to say yes to someone, but I didn’t want to say no even more. So, I said yes and found a way out later. Can you relate to this?

I do not enjoy being on either side of this dialogue.

When I say yes knowing I don’t mean yes, there are many values or needs I am not meeting. To name a few: Connection, Honesty, Predictability and Trust.

At the same ...

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Understanding & Expressing

Understanding & Expressing

“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”    -Thich Nhat Hanh

Do you feel relaxed and open when someone is simply listening to you? You can offer others your presence and understanding too. Here are a few steps that might support you:

  • Presence: Begin by taking three breaths. You will find them refreshing and grounding.
  • Intention: Decide in the moment to listen.
  • Tune in: As if you are a radio, ...
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Awareness of thoughts

It is quite exceptional to be aware of a thought as it arises, occurs, and falls away. Generally we are not aware of our thoughts, yet we believe them, react to them, and live from them over and over again. It may sound outrageous to imagine yourself feeling happy or excited because you noticed a thought arise and fall away, and you didn’t get swept away by it. I assure you that being aware of a thought as it arises ...

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Do NVC & Right Speech correlate with each other?

Do NVC & Right Speech correlate with each other?
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and Right Speech (Buddhist Eight Fold Path)

NVC practitioners might have negative reactions at hearing the words “Right Speech.” Nonviolent Communication (NVC) was developed by Marshall Rosenberg during the civil rights era. The purpose of NVC is to express honestly and to hear empathetically.  Generally, non-judgmental listening and speaking is the foundation of NVC. Using words such as right and wrong can sound (as well as be) ...

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It’s in the return!

 

As we practice meditation, we have the opportunity of returning to awareness over and over. The practice is “in the return” (Sharon Saltzberg).

When I first began meditating (vipassana or insight meditation) I would become frustrated when I had been lost in a river of thoughts. I wondered why the thoughts plagued me so much, and why I couldn’t just enjoy a nice, quiet, peaceful meditation.

When I would become aware that I ...

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On a personal note

The last 16 months have been possibly the most challenging of my life.

April of 2013, with a new year-long program about to begin (our fourth year) and other trainings to follow, as well as retreats I was scheduled to attend – I found myself bewildered by the fact that I didn’t want to continue.  I loved my work.  My friend suggested that I was tired from a recent major surgery, followed ...

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Standing on the Shoulders

Standing on the Shoulders


Standing on the Shoulders
by Joyce Johnson Rouse

I am standing on the shoulders of the ones who came before me
I am stronger for their courage, I am wiser for their words
I am lifted by their longing for a fair and brighter future
I am grateful for their vision, for their toiling on this Earth

We are standing on the shoulders of the ones who came before us
They are saints and they are humans, ...

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Beneath NO is Life

April 2013

I have been studying the energy of NO and how it feels to step fully into saying NO.
Often, the first thoughts that arise are about what “they” will think if you say NO.  Next, you might notice your internal judgment about saying NO.

I invite you to take a moment and clearly connect to these parts of your self.  Each part is distinct, thoughts of: they, internal judgment, and NO.

First, the part of yourself that has concerns about what others (they) will think. ...

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Teaching Giraffe at ALF

Can Teaching Giraffe versus Jackal Language at an ALF be Helpful?

I consult at an Assisted Living Facility, Cedar Creek and developed an employee training program that is optional. We have a group of 5, where I teach the components of wellness, which is an efficient channeling of energy. The 3 circles are awareness, education and growth.  We discuss that wellness is a process, as we gain awareness; we learn and grow with practice. We apply these principles with ourselves the residents ...

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